Condolezzie Rice is a guitar-wielding, photograph-taking, chain-smoking, carob-eating college dropout. The contents of her non-purse would include one bulky men’s wallet (the contents of which will have disappeared by the end of the night), an empty pack of Parliaments, five lighters, a pair of aviators, designer chapstick and a well-loved copy of Rubyfruit Jungle. She dreams of one day starting her very own t-shirt selling, fair trade café in Northampton which she will name Sassy Beans(R).
Dyke D. Eisenhower is a graduate student studying the urban queer environment. She draws her inspiration from years of study in queer literature and varsity sports. She can be found in her Subaru hatchback listening to anything from Seacrest’s TOP 40 to bands that don’t even exist yet. Wardrobe choices include: men’s undershirts, leather cuffs, board shorts and sandals- year round, topped off with a healthy serving of Acqua di Gio. Although fully committed to her current “flavor of the week,” Eisenhower fantasizes about adding more toasters to her wall.
Queen Elezabeth I is a PBR-guzzling, mistake-making, boatshoe-wearing, baby dyke battling hair identity issues. She still struggles with her impossibly difficult and closeted high school experience. Her first of many impulsive tattoos chronicles the perfect storm that was the trajectory of her last three relationships. At any point after midnight on any given day of the week she can be found indulging in late-night delivery and serving as an impromptu processor on a dorm room floor.
